Behind Blue Eyes
by Two Limes in a Coconut
Summary: Three years since the war ended. Two years since his life turned into something even he couldn't figure out. He only thinks of himself as one thing now: A monster. Rated T for violence it's a Tokka story
1. Monster

(A/R: So all my stories are Tokka stories, except maybe on or two. And they're always from Toph's point of view, so I decided to do one from Sokka's. Enjoy!)

(Disclaimer: I do not own Avatar: The Last Airbender. Nor do I own the first two lines below here, which are lyrics to the song 'Behind Blue Eyes' by Limp Bizkit. They also basically own the title of this story I guess.)

_No one knows what its like, to be the bad man,_

_ to be the sad man, behind blue eyes. _

_ ---_

----

A Monster

----

"Wait for it…" he breathed, gripping the hilt of his sword tightly, feeling the roughness beneath his fingers, keeping his breath held for the longest time; then quietly exhaling. "Hold back," he snapped almost viciously to the younger man beside him, who took a step forward, almost beyond their cover of the brush.

"But if we wait any longer-"

"I said _stay back_."

The man, boy more like it, retreated back. Mumbling something of a: 'Yes sir'.

"Anyone else want to question me?" he glanced around the group. His men's eye cast downwards now, avoiding his glare. "Good."

He turned his attention back to the scene through the bushes and trees. "On my signal," he wrapped both hands around his sword, raising it up ever so slightly.

They'd received news early in the day, from a scout, that a brigade of Fire Nation soldiers had camped near the river. _Stupid of them_, he thought to himself, wondering why in the world they were stay next to water, where a strong waterbender -his sister first came to mind- could easily take them all out.

He watched intently as the men wearing red packed their tents up, oblivious that there were men surrounding their camp. He had five warriors on each side, one near the river, one towards the town, one deeper into the woods to his left, and his own group.

The last of the camp was packed up, and the Fire Nation men were just beginning to move on. "Now!" He said, then with a great launch forward; burst through the brush and into the clearing. "Attack!" he bellowed, an angry war cry fallowing as he ran forward, striking down his first foe. It was unjust for him to attack a man from behind, but it had to be done.

He knew that whoever had saw what he just did, could truly understand just why there were so many rumors about him. Ones that stated he was clearly a savage fighter, one who only felt lust for blood. These of course were not true; he had his own reasons to fight. Ones he spoke to no one about.

Just as he pulled his sword away from his victim, the rest of his men came into the camp. Not one bender was apart of his group. He had nothing against his sister's kind, but he only chose the greatest of fighters, and not many benders had asked to join.

They had had a great victory when the Fire Lord was captured, but that did not end the war. Many firebenders still wished to fight for their King and brought about many rebellions. Of course, none were very strong, but enough to keep him and his friends traveling from city to city, fighting out the groups of men who reeked havoc there.

He, sadly, had been more then willing to leave behind his Kyoshi Warrior. Who always found some reason every second of the day to be beside him; which was beyond his comfort zone.

That was three years ago, right after _it _happened…

His thoughts flicked back to the fight. He'd just brought down to more Fire Nation soldiers. Blood had covered his shirt now, where he realized a slight cut covered his shoulder. It was small, but he pain was already weighing him down. He let out another angry cry, swiping quickly and harshly at his two new opponents. They didn't stand a chance.

The brigade of enemies was slowly growing smaller, more bodies falling lifeless to the forest floor, which was covered with pine needles and blood.

He saw many of his men slowly down, even stopping sometimes when they searched for another fight.

It finally came down to him and the two last me. One was a bender, the other a swordsman like himself. He took on the swordsman, who he disarmed and took care of quickly.

The bender, however, was swift and dodged his opponent's sleek black sword easily.

The Fire nation soldier ducked, dodging another attack and at the same time sending flames licking at his attacker's feet.

He could feel the heat on his legs, hungry burning away his pants. He let out a gasp and dropped to his knees batting out the flames. He rolled onto his back, just as a blast was thrown at him. He spotted his right hand man; Rashu, starting towards him.

"No!" he called, jumping painfully to his feet. "He's mine!"

In the instant he was distracted, the firebender lunged forward, fists thrown forward to send another blast.

The man brought his sword around, slashing at the man's right arm. There was a cry of pain, and the man stumbled backwards, his hand cover the large gash near his elbow. He looked about for an escape room, but found none. With one last attempt at escape, he lunged to the right.

He was tripped by the sword, his large form crashing into the earth painfully. He rolled onto his back, attempting to rise again.

It didn't seem right to kill him this way. So the man with the sword sheathed his weapon and stood, waiting for the bender to get up.

"I'm giving you a chance." He sneered, standing tall. "Get up and fight."

The man didn't mover, sweat pouring down his dirtied face.

"I said get up!" He lunged for the bender out of anger.

He found himself atop the man, throwing punches forward blindly. At first it struck his chin, then his cheek. Slowly he threw blow after blow, paying little attention to the man's defensively raised arms.

"Fight like a man you coward!"

He found that each strike was growing more tiresome, and for some reason; the man wasn't fighting back. There was a horrible feeling the last time he threw his fist forward, like he'd struck to hard; terrible to hard. He hesitated a moment, arm pulled back to strike again. But what he saw brought a sickening feel to his stomach.

The man's eyes were only half open; his head hanging limp at the side. The sword bearer looked to his fists, then to the lifeless form beneath him. He slid off the man, back onto the ground with a hard thump.

His breathing grew quicker at the realization of what he had just done. He slowly turned his head, looking over the gazes that bore into him. His men stood, many with fear in their eyes. Others only seemed shadowed, with shame or grief he knew not.

He rose, wiping his hands on his shirt. "Lets… lets go." He bowed his head, slowly stumbling toward the group of warriors. They created a clear path for him, watching as their leader dragged himself away.

"Sokka…" Rashu was beside him, reaching to rest his hand on his shoulder.

Sokka stepped away, not looking into his companion's eyes. "Get a wagon and… have the others load everything up. We're going to the burial grounds."

Rashu raised his brow, staring at his leader; surprised. "But that's not the place to-"

"We'll bury them far away from the tombs, toward the woods. It won't matter to anyone there." He snapped, feeling highly regretful about it a moment later. "Just… give me a second." He knew his friend understood.

As Rashu turned to instruct the men, Sokka stumbled off into the woods, toward the river.


	2. Changing

Changing

----

He cupped his hands around the rushing water, drawing it up to his face. It trickled down his neck, into his shirt, sending shivers running along his arms.

The drops that covered his eyelashes hid the tears that were threatening to fall. He was kneeling, leaning towards the icy water. Before he knew it, he had both hands pressed into the muddy bank; emptying the contents of his breakfast from the early morning.

Sokka lifted his head, wiping his sleeve across his mouth and standing again. The thoughts that troubled him were not of what people were going to ask when he dragged at least two dozens bodies back to the burial grounds. But what he would with them when he got there. Sure, he could just throw them into the ground like all the others. But at the burial grounds it was different. Anyone buried there needed to be given an honored death. Did these men deserve such honor?

The thoughts trailed across his mind, leaving a blank path. What was he going to do?

"Sokka," Rashu's deep and sympathetic voice said from behind. "We're ready."

"Good," he replied, not turning. "I'll be there in a moment."

The second-in-command turned to leave, he stopped halfway. "Sokka," he started.

"Rashu… I'm fine." He looked over his shoulder. "I did more damage to them then myself."

"They were just scared," he began to explain, but Sokka wouldn't listen; so he left.

He knew the men would never turn on him for his actions. But the things they saw their leader do were horrible. Why put them through that when they needn't be? He shook the idea away, turning back for the forest.

The shovels dug fiercely into the hard earth floor, turning it up with a twist. He watched silently as his men dug the graves… or just grave. It was a long wide strip, where they would lay the bodies, which were wrapped neatly in white bundles.

"The villagers won't like this." one man commented, glancing nervously at their leader, whom remained quiet.

"What the villagers care about doesn't matter," another said, completely ignoring some glares the others gave. "All they have to do is deal with the sight of another grave while we have to be out here digging it!"  
This time Sokka spoke up. "You have a problem with digging graves for the dead?"

"They don't deserve graves." The man replied. Hanu was his name.

"If the Fire Nation caught and killed you, wouldn't you want to be buried?"

"But I'm not-"

"You're human, they're human; nothing else to it." He turned away, anger filling his face.

"That's coming from you." Hanu snorted, driving his shovel into the ground harshly.

"What did you say?" Sokka swung back around; receiving uneasy glances from Sashu, who stood a distance away, speaking to the village leader.

"You know what I mean," Hanu replied coolly, leaning against his tool. "You speak of honorable burials for these men, but all you'll do after this is murder more of them."

Sokka slid into the pit, striding towards him. The younger man stood his ground.

Hanu was only nineteen, but he was skilled with arrows and that was the only reason they'd let him into their group.

"You should learn to keep your mouth shut," he spat, his face inches away. "Or you might find another grave dug; yours."

The digging quieted around him, and he was yet again regretful for his words. He needed to think before he spoke, but of course, he was never really good at that. He opened his mouth to say more, but nothing came out.

"Sokka," Sashu stood above them, staring down at them with concern. "Is everything all right?"

Sokka swung around, climbing back out of the hole. "Everything's fine."

He could hear Sashu arguing with Hanu quietly as he walked away, but he didn't catch what they said.

"Hey," Sashu caught up to him, falling into pace to his left. "What's going on? You know he's always like that, you shouldn't let him get to you like that-"

"He's right."

"What?"

Sokka stopped, clutching the sword at his side. "I tell them to bury these men honorably. But I slaughter them like… like animals. You know the rumors. You know what I've done to my reputation, to myself."

Sashu didn't argue. He'd refused to believe the rumors before, but now it seemed anyone could believe them. They were, in some ways true.

"We'll be traveling toward Ba Sing Sai soon. When we get there… the group will stay behind."

"That's fine, you and I-"

"No, only I'm going."

"But Sokka," he began, but stopped. "Don't run away because of a rumor."

"I'm not," Sokka protested. "I'm proving it wrong."

"And you have to do that alone?"

"We made this group to help fight off the rebellions. The remaining Fire nation who thought they could screw around with us and try to regain the thrown. But don't you think it's become a bit more then that? We don't take prisoners… we don't even give them a chance. We're more like bandits than the Avatar's men. We're rebels… we're killers."

Sashu's eyes clouded over. For the first since he knew him, Sokka could see something dark inside this man. An angry look that needed to be relieved of a hunger; one Sokka had hoped never to see in his men.

"Better to be killers then cowards. Then traitors." He almost snarled, turning on his heel and striding away.

He stood in silence for several moments, feeling completely alone.

Not only had his flaw of being unable to control his anger towards the Fire Nation rebels ruin his reputation, it was ruining his men as well.

He retreated back toward the forest again, where their small camp sat just among the trees; the burial grounds behind him.

Late in the evening; after retiring to his blanket on the floor of his tent, he dreamt.

It wasn't like his usual dreams. Ones of which showed many faces of those he'd killed. Those he'd mercilessly murdered. No, this one was much worse. This one was more then a nightmare. It was a memory; a bad one at that.

_The sun was high in the sky. Not a single cloud specking its blue background. The garden surrounding them was abloom with dozens of firelilies. Ones that; of course, only grew in this nation; in which they received their name. The group of five sat cross legged on the ground, facing the small pool, under the shade of the willow. _

_"I'm going to miss this." Aang sighed, lying back with his arms founded behind his head. "This place is so peaceful." _

_"And beautiful." Katara agreed, sighing as a breeze tickled her neck. _

_Zuko remained silent, leaning against the trunk of the tree with his hands folded in his lap. _

_"You should see it the way I do." Toph ran her hands over the soft grass, closing her eyes as she took in the scene. "I'll miss it too." _

_A year had passed since the downfall of Lord Ozai, and this was one of the rare occasions Zuko was free to visit with is friends. It was, in fact, a special occasion, because the four others would be leaving the next morning for Ba Sing Sai. _

_Sokka stood, stretching his arms and legs. "So Zuko, are you going to come visit us?"_

_"Of course he'd won't Sokka; the Fire lord can't leave his nation. That'd be like handing it over to the rebellion." _

_He glared at his sister, irritated. _

_"We'll keep in touch." Zuko reassured, turning his gaze to Toph, who had turned away from them. "What's wrong?" _

_"Nothing," she reassured; resting her chin on her pulled up legs. "It's just that… Aang and Katara will be at the South Pole. Sokka's going to be at Kyoshi for awhile with Suki… and I'll be alone at Ba Sing Sai." None of them said a thing to comfort her. _

_"Toph," Sokka rested his hand on her shoulder. "You know someone had to stay in the capitol. You know what'll happen if the don't have someone to boss them around." He smiled. "And you do that best." _

_She slowly slid away from him. "Sure." _

_He sighed, pulling back. "It'll only be a few weeks." _

_She ignored him, getting to her feet.. _

_"If you had such a problem with it, why didn't you say something sooner?" he asked angrily, paying no attention to the warning look the others were giving him._

_"Would it have mattered?" _

_"Yes." _

_She snorted, starting for the palace. "You're lying Sokka." She gestured toward her feet. _

"_Yeah, well if you're so good at it, you'll be able to tell I'm not lying when I say this; I'm glad you're staying in Ba Sing Sai, it'll just be one less pain for me!" _

_"Sokka!" Katara protested when he jumped to his feet. _

_But he was already walking the opposite direction, away from the rest of them. _

Everything next was a blur. He knew it was no longer in that garden, but a different scene; one he'd never seen before. One that he could feel was good, but couldn't access. So, after failing miserably to reach that scene, he awoke, drenched in sweat with his head bent.


	3. Maybe

Maybe

----

The next few days were colder, dark clouds rolling in over the hills. The spirits were not happy with him.

The forest and burial grounds were long gone from sight. He was more then willing of course to get away.

After Sashu had startled him with his harsh words, Sokka had avoided his friend; thinking it better to leave the older man alone. But more of his men were growing cautious of him; as if he were in fact as the rumors said. A murderer only seeking revenge; not to protect his nation, or any other for that matter.

The nightmares were still haunting him, keeping him awake for hours on ends. The horrible memories forming before his very eyes frightened him unlike anything he'd experienced in battle.

They reached the next village within two days; its small rundown shacks of houses more welcoming then they'd expected. And though the place was poor and small, the people were more cheery then thought possible. The children ran about in their rags, squealing with delight at the sight of newcomers.

Woman and men brought food for the group, smiling wide as the approached.

Sokka thanked the village leader's daughter over and over again, (her father being ill in bed) watching as she picked a child up, placing the little boy on her hip.

"Anything for you Warriors." She was young, no more then a year or two under him, but her eyes showed wisdom beyond his own. She would be a perfect leader.

There was slight jealously inside him, wishing he could have her hope; even though her home was falling to pieces. She was almost a female version of what he wanted to be. What he couldn't be.

Because of this envy, he avoided being around her as much as possible, but she was attracted to the stories he told the children. So he was forced to watch as she sat among the group of younglings, having that same hungry look in her eyes for knowledge, adventure.

One evening, after telling yet another story for the children, he was starting back for the tents, (which sat right outside the village) when she fell into pace beside him, smiling that smile he saw so very often.

"So, how was it the Avatar cured you and your sister of the illness that one time?" she was smirking. She knew the answer, but all the children found his amusing when he said it. She was a child, nothing more.

"We…" he sighed. "Sucked on toads."

She let out a soft giggle, raising her head to look at the sky. "It's beautiful in the evenings isn't it?" she closed her eyes, stopping a moment.

He did this too, as not to be rude. "I suppose."

"So what's it like?" she questioned, as if he knew what she was talking about. "I mean… traveling the world. Being chased by Fire nation princes," she looked back at him, a mischievous look to her smile and eyes. "Falling in love with moon spirits, traveling to the Air Temples, where most men have ever gone."

"It's… tiresome." He turned away from her, face shadowed.

"But it must have been amazing," she didn't fallow. "Seeing everything you saw. Feeling everything you felt."

"Yeah, it was." He started walking again. "It's just too bad that's gone."

The village gave them a bigger farewell then they had a welcome; children fallowing all the way out to where their road ended and turned into grass. It was there that they were sent back to the village, heads bent low in disappointment. Sheera, the village leader's daughter, had accompanied them to this point.

"Well," she began, obviously disappointed. "I suppose you'll be off now. I wish you and your men well," she laughed abruptly, "And let's hope you won't have to suck on any toads soon.

He only responded with a slight nod of his head, thanking her for her village's hospitality again; then turning away.

It wasn't until they were high among the nearest hill that he turned, watching as the girl waved one last time, then turned back for her home.

And, sadly, he found he wished not to return to that village again.

Conflict began to arise among the men once he told them of their destination. Some were relieved at the thought of relaxing in the city for a few days, while others were determined to keep moving, wanting to return to their Earth Kingdom base at Omashu to discuss more about the rebels whereabouts. Those men he kept an eye on, feeling they were already becoming more like the man he was rumored to be.

Sashu had yet to have a full conversation with him. Whenever they spoke, he only answered in few words, and he was never the starter of the talk.

Sokka was becoming worried for his friend, whom had never before held anything against him. Had he spoken so offensively?

It wasn't until they'd reached the outer wall of Ba Sing Sai that his right hand man did address him.

"Sokka," he approached; that same bitter tone in his voice. "You spoke to me about splitting up once in Ba Sing Sai."

"Yes." he nodded, starting to set up his tent.

"And you still plan to stick to it?"

Sokka pondered on his seriously for a moment. Once in the city, he would indeed leave. But he was now growing cautious of leaving his men in charge of Sashu. Who, before, he trusted with his life. But now… it was different. "Yes," he finally answered. "I still intend to leave."

He expected his friend to argue and try to change his mind. But he didn't. Instead he confused Sokka even further. "Then I will leave also."

"What? But you were supposed to stay and-"

"I'll be going toward the Fire Nation boarder, to help keep and eye on things there. I've already spoken to the men about it, and many will remain in Ba Sing Sai. What's left will return to Omashu and serve the king there."

Not only was he surprised by this sudden change in plan, but he was growing red in the face wit anger as well. "You didn't tell me about this." He said accusingly, for the first time actually raising his voice to this man.

"I thought to ask the men first and-"

"My men."

"What?"

Sokka had left his tent alone now, back still turned though. "You consulted with _my _men about the decisions of this group. That is not your job. You are here to fill in when I'm gone, not take over when I'm still here."

Sashu looked almost astonished for a moment, but it was also replaced by anger. "Well considering you've been nothing but a self-pitying-"

"So now I'm self-pitying? I had to kill a man with my bear hands-"

"You chose to do that," he snapped, taking a step forward. "You don't need pity Sokka. This is what we do. This is our life. We are warriors."

"I'm tired of being a warrior then." Sokka said quietly, picking up the tools of his tent and turning away. "I'm leaving tomorrow, I'm counting on you see the men safely off."

Sashu said nothing, but Sokka knew no matter how angry he was, this man would not let anything happen to the others. They were his family. Or so Sokka thought; he was slowly starting to realize Sashu wasn't who he thought.

The early morning dew covered the lustrous grass, causing a sparkling sea of green to waver in the sunlight.

He hitched the pack higher upon his shoulder, sighing in the smell of early spring.

He'd left without a word to his men, only looking over the closed tents once before going. It would only be more difficult if he'd said anything. And honestly; he was angry at them still. They shouldn't have planned something without speaking to him first. They shouldn't have gone behind his back.

Sokka let out an angry laugh, thinking for a second to use the phrase of 'stabbed in the back'. But that would be the wrong thing to say. Wasn't it that not longer ago he attacked a man without warning behind his back? And all the times before that when he came upon his victims so quickly they never even were able to unsheathe their swords?

The thought made him smile, though it sickened him at the same time. He was a murderer, a loner now, and he was laughing at a joke about killing. _Who am I? _He questioned himself. _What am I?_

He was angry with himself now, and he clutched the straps of his pack tightly. The sun was just begging to show across the land before him. He kept to the side of the outer wall, looking about suspiciously.

His mind traveled back to two years before, not long after he and Suki had left for Kyoshi Island.

_Suki strode into the room, holding a bundle of scrolls in her arms. Her hair was unruly and sticking out wildly, unable to be contained from its band. She rolled her eyes at the sight of him. _

_He sat crossed legged on the floor, looking over a map of the Earth Kingdom. _

_"Oh, hey Suki." He said without looking up, running his finger along a river. "I was just thinking which way would be easier to get to the North Pole."_

_She rolled her eyes again, which he was aware of this time. "What's wrong?"_

_"You haven't left you're room in days Sokka, isn't it about time you puts those maps away and actually help out around this place?" she said it bitterly, but he could detect the humor in her voice. _

_"I have to left this room-"_

_She snorted, dropping the scrolls into his lap. "Yeah, to inform me that you were hungry." _

_He smiled as she sat down beside him, picking one of the scrolls up. "Just the usual from the generals, but I think there's another here, not sure what it is."_

_Sokka picked the one she pointed to up, looking at the seal it held. "Oh…" he studied the symbol. It was a picture of the Flying Boar. "Yeah… you know, I think I do need some fresh air." He stood up, starting for he door. She only scowled as he left. _

_Once outside, he drew in a sharp breathe, opening the scroll. He hadn't seen nor heard from Toph since the day the fought. He pondered for a moment on who had written it for her, but pushed the thought away. _

_Sokka, _

_I was recently informed that you were leaving for the North Pole soon. I sent this in hope it would reach you before you left. Since the generals have been sending you so many letters lately, which you haven't answered to, they figured you weren't, for some reason, receiving them. You and I both know that's not true- (He smiled softly; then continued reading)_. _-_ _ The generals figured if I sent you one, for some strange reason, you might receive it; which tells me they also assume you are intentionally ignoring them. All in all, here are the most recent letters from Zuko and the generals. Come back soon Snoozles. _

_-Toph_

_Sokka snorted. "Sorry Toph, don't think I'll be visiting anytime soon." _

_The fallowing was just information from Zuko and the others, which he cared very little for and merely skimmed over. He went back inside, tossing the scroll into the trash basket. _

"_Who was it from?" Suki questioned him, smiling. _

"…_No one." He sat down beside her, letting her rest her head on his shoulder. _

The thought of that scroll pained him, along with the memory of Suki, who he left without another thought.

If he'd just gone to visit Toph, maybe things would have turned out differently. Maybe he would still be with Suki. With someone.

But he wasn't, and that was that.


	4. Reunions

(A/N: Sorry it's taken a few days to post this one up, i was on vacation and unable to access a computer. But anyways, thanks to everyone who left reviews!

---

Reunion

----

Three months passed since Sokka left his group. The months passed since he'd abandoned his Warriors. Three months and he was finally home. He was finally at the South Pole.

Katara was the first one he saw. She came dashing through the snow, tears streaming down her face. For the first time in months he smiled. The puzzled look that filled her face was truly humorous for him.

"Sokka!" she nearly screeched, throwing her arms around him. "What are…? Why are you…?"

"Hey Katara," he pressed his cheek against her soft hair. He'd barely recognized her at first, but beneath the womanly look she now had, she still was his same little sister. When she didn't pull away, he squeezed her tighter. "I missed you so much." He whispered.

"I missed you too."

---

"So… where's Aang?" Sokka questioned, looking about the small hut Katara now called home.

She was pouring him a steaming boil of soup. "Oh, he…" she hesitated. "Left not soon after we got here." She handed him the bowl.

"What happened?"

"We're argued." She shrugged, as if it meant nothing to her. "He occasionally writes. Last I heard he was at the Western Air Temple, researching the remaining artifacts of the nomads.

"Oh… I'm sorry," he began, but she cut him off.

"No need to apologize." She smiled, "It didn't matter anyway. We're older now, and Aang is still my best friend. That's it."

He didn't push it any further.

"But what about you?" she asked. "Suki wrote to me saying you'd left… but she never said why."

"I…" he stared at his dinner. "Just needed some time alone I suppose."

She watched him with understanding. "And where did you go?"

He set the soup down. "I created a group of Warriors who fought the rebellions in the Earth Kingdom."

"That's great," she smiled.

"No, not really." He pushed the soup back toward her. "I'm not really hungry Katara."

"What?!" she asked, unbelieving. "Sokka are you feeling well?" she laughed, lifting a hand to feel his forehead.

He pulled back. "Katara,"

By the tone of his voice, she drew back, becoming serious all of a sudden. "…yes?"

"I…" he bit his lower lip. "I did bad things… very bad things. I changed and now…"

She said nothing, but waited for him to speak again.

"I can't go back to the old Sokka. I can't even think without being reminded of my mistakes…" he trailed off, a horrible stinging sensation filling his eyes.

"What happened Sokka?" she scooted toward him, speaking softly.

"I killed people Katara," he looked up at her with tear-filled eyes. "I killed and slaughtered men without thinking twice. I snuck up on them from behind and just… I didn't even give them a chance. I didn't give them the choice to change."

"What are you talking about?" she didn't sound angry, but confused.

"I killed hundreds of men Katara!" tears were flowing freely down his tanned cheeks now. "I killed them. All of them."

He felt her arms wrap around him protectively, letting his head fall into her lap. "Spirits what have I done?!" he sobbed, clutching at her skirt.

"You were protecting the innocent."

"I was fighting for blood." He shook his head, refusing to believe her. "That's all I was doing; nothing more."

She remained silent, letting him sob away the feelings that had been staying inside him for so long. Ones he hadn't been able to let out till now. Ones he hoped he never had to feel again.

---

Sokka awoke to Katara peeking into his hut, smiling softly in the morning light. "Come on lazy head, get up."

"Its too early Katara," he muttered, slipping back under his blanket.

"But you're in the South Pole again Sokka, there's work to be tended to." She scolded playfully. "There's a cargo ship coming in and we have to help unload it."

He sighed, slipping out of his bed and pulling his sweat on. After slipping into his boots, he fallowed her out.

"So have you heard from Zuko lately?" he questioned, finally breaking into the pattern of crunching snow beneath them. He glanced at her cautiously, swearing he saw her blush.

"Uh… yeah, actually. He was just here a few weeks ago. Came in on a cargo ship, all dressed up in his fancy clothes."

"What happened to having to stay in the Fire Nation?" he demanded, though not in a harsh way.

"Oh well… he was just visiting for a short time and…"

He smirked and she swipe at him playfully. "Just be quiet."

"Okay, okay," he raised his hands in defense. She looked satisfied, even though the blush still showed on her cheeks.

---

Days drew on and Sokka slowly was growing used to his old life again. His father was still the leader of their tribe. Sadly, he'd learned of the passing of their Gran Gran, whom was at least able to see Katara again.

He felt guilty about not visiting, he should have at least suspected her time was coming, but he never thought to...

Katara didn't question him any further on what they'd spoken of. She merely smiled at him sympathetically every time he caught her eye.

In fact, he was doing perfectly fine. That was, of course, until he made the mistake of bringing up the question he'd had upon his tongue since he arrived.

It was one evening as Katara did her needle work on his pants, which he'd managed to tear the first day.

"When was the last time you… heard from Toph." He spoke without looking at her. But when she stopped her work and glanced his way, he became uneasy and regretted having brought it up.

"It was just before… well… you know."

"What did she say?"

Katara hesitated. "She was just telling me she was doing fine and…" her lips were pressed tightly together as she thought back. "You know that was a lie."

He sighed, taking a bight of the stale bread leftover from dinner. "Yeah." he turned away from her, stretching out over the floor. "Wake me up in a few minutes okay?"

"Okay." She softly replied.

That few minutes passed quicker then he'd hoped. She awoke him with a whisper of goodnight, then left.

He sat up, pressing his face into his hands. Why hadn't he gone to visit Toph? Why hadn't he sent her a letter or… something. Why?


	5. The Truth

The Truth

----

Sokka watched as his sister poured him a hot cup of tea, which was unusual to have in the Water Tribe, but since the imports had come in a few days before; the stock house was full of packages of tea leaves.

He never liked jasmine that much, but he refused to tell that to Katara, not wanting to her feelings.

He studied her face intently, trying to understand just who she'd become. Had she changed like he had? Was she such a monter…?

_Of course not, _he snapped to himself silently. _Why would you even think…? _

His thoughts were interrupted.

"Sokka, I know you don't want to talk about it… but why did you leave Suki?"

The tea burnt his tongue slightly, giving him another moment of silence before he had to answer. "I felt… closed in." he knew those were the wrong ones.

She didn't quite understand him, he figured, by the look on her face.

"I mean… Suki was great and everything, but I didn't feel free anymore. I had to take care of her as well as myself. I couldn't do the things I wanted to without her being there right beside me… I just needed to be alone for awhile." _And look where it got me_, he thought irritably to himself.

Katara didn't question any further, but merely sipped at her tea.

"Now it's my turn to ask a question."

"Okay," she straightened up. And for a moment he could see that same childish curiosity she always had.

"What happened to Toph? Where is she? Why did she leave?" he knew it all flew out so quickly and she was caught off guard, but he couldn't help continuing. "All they said was that she disappeared…"

Katara stared at him quietly for a moment. A blank look covering her face… or was she just lost in thought? He couldn't tell.

"I need to know." It was the truth; he wanted to know why his friend had so suddenly disappeared off the face of the earth without even so saying goodbye. Then again, he never did return her letter, why should she have said goodbye to him?  
"Sokka, any other question I'd answer… but Toph said… I just can't."

"Wait, you talked to her?" he questioned, nearly spilling his beverage. "When? You said you hadn't… is she okay-?"

"Sokka," she silenced him, setting her drink down. "I can't talk to you about it… I promised her I'd tell no one. Not even you."

"But I'm her friend Katara, she'll understand-"

"You're one of the reasons she left Sokka," she blurted out. At first he thought she was angry, but he quickly realized she was only staring at his surprised expression sympathetically, like she'd done so many times for the past few days.

"But… why?"

Katara sighed for what seemed like the hundredth time, looking anywhere but at him. "Are you so oblivious?" she finally demanded, staring him strait in the eye.

He was growing uncomfortable under that gaze. "Well… I suppose… considering I have no clue what you're talking about."

She rolled her eyes, bringing back another memory of how she used to act when she was younger. How much he missed that Katara, even if this knew one was just as great. "Didn't you ever notice how she acted…? After Suki joined the group and….?"

He slowly began to realize just was she was getting to. "What?" his mouth dropped open slightly. "But… what?"

"Close your mouth Sokka." She snapped. "Yes. And you and Suki running off to Kyoshi Island didn't help at all."

"But… she never…"

"Do you really think she'd have said something? When we first met she was a twelve years old girl and you were sixteen! It wasn't like you were the perfect match."

"How long did you know…?"

"A long time Sokka," she was smiling amusingly at him. "I still can't believe you didn't realize it sooner." Her smiled was replaced by a sad frown. "Of course, you not knowing might have helped a little bit with her. A girl would rather go on with a secret then being rejected and embarrassed."

"I wouldn't have-"

"Yes you would," she said it truthfully; ignoring the angry glare he was giving her. "All you could think about then was Suki, why should she have even tried to talk to you about it?"

It was both embarrassing and troubling to him. "This still doesn't answer where she is."

"Yes well," Katara took another sip. "That's another story."

"I'm listening."

She set the cup back down reluctantly, recalling back on her last conversation with their earthbending friend. "Toph had basically confessed and everything, which we'll not get into," she said warningly when he began to question. He remained quiet.

She continued. "After that, she just got up and left the room-"

"You actually went to see her?" he asked abruptly, nearly jumping to his feet. "You didn't tell me that!"

"Why should I have?" she snapped, signaling for him to sit down again. "It's not like you would have cared then anyways."

Sokka wanted to object, but held back.

"I didn't hear from her for months after that… then I got a letter. She said she was heading northward, toward…"

"Toward?"

"Aunt Wui's village."

He remained quietly, taking it in. "So… Toph's not but a month's journey away?"

Katara laughed. "On a flying Bison maybe, but in case you hadn't noticed… we don't have one of those. No, you'd have to leave on the next supplies ship; head back toward Ba Sing Sai, get off there and start toward the village. It'd take _months_."

He thought about it seriously for a moment, thinking over the possibilities of traveling there faster, but none came to mind. "I'll do it."

She almost dropped her cup. "What? But I didn't mean for you to go… I was just saying-"

"Katara," by the tone of his voice, she quieted. "It's my fault she left. It's my fault for not going to visit her… for not ever contacting her. I just didn't try."

She searched his face for something. An answer to a question she had, one he wouldn't know the answer to, whatever it was.

Finally she set her tea down, leaning forward and hugging him. "I know she'll forgive you. Even if it seems unlikely; she will."

That didn't help his feeling of dread for the thought of confronting Toph. It just didn't seem like she'd forgive him. It just wasn't in her nature to do that so easily."

What would he say?

Two months later, he was standing in the large supplies ship, waving down to his teary eyed sister; whom smiled up at him sadly.

She, among with other benders; forced the water forward, pushing the boat with it.

Sokka nearly tripped as the boat sped across the water and then slowly came to a smaller pace. He turned and waved back to the icy plains, where Katara was growing to be but a mere dot among white.

Then she was gone all together, and he was off again toward the Earth Kingdom capitol; Ba Sing Sai.


	6. One Left

(Sooo sorry everyone! My computer hasn't been working right! I tried and tried over and over again to post this chap up, but it wouldn't work! Please don't tell me I've lost my readers?) (Enjoy!)

One Left

----

Nothing had changed in the Earth Kingdom Capitol. It was the same, huge city it always had been.

_Why did I change?_ Sokka thought to himself those first few minutes of striding through the streets. He eventually came to the palace, where he was greeted by bows. They led him to the King's throne room, where the man himself sat with his bear lying next to him.

The gray hair had already set into the man's thinning head and the animal itself was beginning to age.

Sokka bowed with respect.

"Sokka of the Water Tribe." The king's voice was cold and serious. "Welcome."

"Thank you your Majesty." He replied calmly.

The king had risen from his seat and was descending the small steps to where the warrior stood.

His servants quickly left the room, leaving the two men to talk.

Once everyone had disappeared, then the king gave Sokka hard hug. "So, what brings you to my city?" the king led him off to a room to his left, where a ring of pillows sat on the floor, a table in the center. He took a seat.

"I've just been traveling about, thought I'd stop in to say hello."

The older man looked troubled, but he smiled anyway. "Yes, that's interesting." He paused. "And, how is the avatar? I haven't heard much of him lately."

"Katara said Aang is at the Western Air temple. Monk business no doubt." He smiled. "It'll be good for him to be around the temple."

"Yes, and your sister?"

"She's… been better. I think she's lonely sometimes but…"

He didn't let Sokka continue. "Sokka," he said abruptly. "I hate to stop this small talk, but I have important business to speak with you about."

Sokka didn't reply immediately.

"It's concerning Sashu, one of your warriors."

The younger man stared at him with a worried expression. "Is he alright?"

"Yes, yes, I suppose he's doing quite well. It's not him I'm worried about." There was a clouded look in the man's eyes. "He's become out of control. I understand he was just a little rebellious at first, but now it's gone too far."

Sokka only watched him with a further confused expression. "You majesty, what are you talking about?"

"Sashu, he's… you don't know." His happy face had vanished and he now was getting to his feet. It took some effort.

"I don't know what?"

"Come with me."

Sokka stared down at the injured man; his arms and legs bandaged tightly, along with other various parts of his body. It wasn't a sight to fancy when the cloth was removed from his beaten, swollen face.

"He won't able to use his left leg." The king stated as the studied the sleeping figure.

"What happened?"

"When you left your Warriors, Sashu left for the Fire Nation border,"

"Yes, I know that. And the other Warriors remained here."

"At first, yes," he sighed. "But eventually a lot of them left for the border as well. Sashu pulled the group back together."

"And?"

"They kept things in order, it was quite useful. But soon it became a problem. Sashu moved away from the border, towards Omashu. If he ever came upon a fire nation rebel, whether it was one or more, he… brought him down, you could say."

"Well… isn't that what they were supposed to do?" Sokka could find now problem with the idea.

"They went against my orders. I told them to capture the men, not kill them. Yet every time I receive news of them, they have no captives and I'm only informed that many have fallen to him."

"He went against your order?" he questioned in disbelief. "But, that's not something Sashu would do…"

"It's not just rebels anymore. It's refugees as well. You know just as well as I do that there are many firenation men and woman who have come to stay in the Earth kingdom. But in the path of Sashu none are safe. He has killed men and women Sokka. Woman and children."

"No, he wouldn't do that!" his voice rose. "I know he was angry but he wouldn't kill innocent-"

"This is a fire nation merchant." The king gestured to the man before them. "His family wasn't so lucky."

There was a moment of silence, in which Sokka took in what had just been spoken. Was it possible?

"What… will you do?"

"Anything I can. I just thought you should know."

"Thank you, your majesty."

Since the news of Sashu, Sokka had grown restless in the city. He found that, unlike the various times he'd visited before, he felt trapped behind the walls. That must have been how Toph felt, he would tell himself.

The thoughts of Toph were no more welcoming, they only brought guilt and shame to him and he could find no peace in Ba Sing Sai.

That was when he was fed up with it. He had to get away from the city. He had to get away from the hundreds of people that surrounded him. The hundreds that knew nothing about him and, he was sure, judged him everyone moment of the day.

And that, unforutnatly, was when it happened. When he met the one person in the world he dreaded most to meet; the one person who he hurt. The one person he broke.

"Sokka?" the voice nearly whispered as he walked toward the outer wall. He stopped in his tracks and waited, praying he'd just imagined it.

"Sokka?" the woman stepped around him, studying his face. "Is it really you?"

"Suki," he breathing, hands trembling nervously. Why?

In and instant she'd thrown her arms around him, pressing her face into his shoulder and sighing. "Oh, I missed you!"

He awkwardly hugged her back. "What… why are you here?"

"I'd be asking the same thing!" she took a step back, smiling up at him. He could still see though, the pain behind those brown eyes.

"I… you first." He replied, attempting to smile. It just wouldn't come.

"I came to visit Ty Lee, she's posted here at the moment. Now you tell me."

"I'm just… passing through."

She grabbed his hand, which he found surprising. Why wasn't she mad at him?

"Come on," she started to pull him away. "I know this amazing Tea shop down the street, you'll love it-"

"Suki," he almost scolded. "You know I don't like tea."

She let go of him. "Oh, right. I'm sorry… I forgot. It's been so long since you… left." There it was; the anger and sadness that covered her face. The hurt that was being held inside so long, that finally was coming out.

"I'm sorry," he almost said it desperately. "You have to understand why I-"

She shook her head. What for?

"I know why you left Sokka," she said firmly. "I know."

"H… how?" he sounded like a little boy, curious as ever. "I didn't… I never said anything, I didn't even know why I left…"

"I found the letter." her smile had faded her a frown.

"The letter," he stared at the ground. "The one from Katara?"

"Yes… and I know you had to go; because you had to find your friend. Even if it meant…" she paused, lips pressed tight together. "Even if it meant leaving me."

"No, Suki that wasn't the reason… well it is now but-"

"You're still looking?" she asked almost skeptically. "But it's been so long… why would you still be…?"

"I didn't start until a few weeks ago. Before that…"

"Let me get you something to drink." She insisted, obviously understanding his hesitation. "You can tell me then."

He told her everything. Everything from the moment he left, to the moment he broke up the group of Warriors. He told her about what the Earth king had said and he told her he was leaving the city. He told her where he was looking for Toph, but without explaining exactly _why_ he was going.

He could trust Suki. He knew without a doubt he could. He always could. She was his friend, one of his best friends. She wasn't meant for him, he knew that. But it hurt anyway and he knew she was in just as much pain; sitting there at that table, listening to him. Taking in every word he spoke, studying him thoughtfully; like she didn't want his image ever to fade away again. Well, that was what he was doing to her anyway.

She only nodded at everything he said, didn't show any discontent and didn't speak at all when he told her about Sashu.

"I was leaving when I ran into you." He finally finished, giving her a weak smile.

"To find Toph."

He could detect the slightest bitterness in her voice. He nodded.

"I'm…" she began, setting her tea down. "I'm glad you've been okay Sokka. Even if you had a hard time, you've pulled together. I think…" she stopped, lowering her head. He could have sworn there were tears in her eyes. "I'm glad you're finding her. I just hope… that she…" She knew.

He sighed. "Suki, all I want to do is see Toph. I just want to make sure she;s okay and-"

She was shaking her head again. "I'm not clueless." She was staring at him angrily now, tears filling up. The anger calmed. "I'm happy for you Sokka. I really am. I'm just… mad at myself. Not you."

"W… why?"

"Because, I didn't give you the things you needed… I didn't have the one thing you needed. And she does have it… and the thing that won't leave me alone… is that she didn't even know she had. She had it long ago, I could see that then." She trailed away.

He didn't ask what she meant, he didn't' have to.

"She had the thing you needed," she repeated. "She was you best friend. I wasn't."

"Suki-"

"And as much as I hated… Spirits, this is so selfish… as much as I hated loosing to a," she was having trouble talking. "A little girl, I was fine. I am fine."

"Suki, I will always be there for you." he was finished with his tea. He set a coin now, even if she had insisted to pay for it. "Whenever you need me, I will be."

Then he stood and left. Just like that he left behind the one person he'd always dreamed he would be with. But dreams don't always come true.

"Sokka!"

He turned in time to catcher her in his arms.

She clung onto him, making the sorrow and anger that was clawing at him increase and he had to pull away.

For a moment the thought he had nothing else to loose. He'd lost Yue, and he just gave Suki up. But he was wrong, he finally realized, walking away from Ba Sing Sai a few hours later. He did have one left.

The one he had to travel hundreds of miles for. The one he truly and sincerely was sorry to have hurt more then anything, and the one he hoped would forgive him for everything he'd done. Even the things she knew nothing about. The one he, even if he didn't know yet, loved more then anything.

Toph.

(A/N: I was a little iffy with this one, it just seemed a bit dramatic and… I don't know… out of character. I don't usually include Suki in any of my others stories. Because, as you can see; I can never get her in character. So sorry if you didn't really enjoy it, I'm sort of having some trouble. But next chap will be up soon, stay tuned!)


	7. Anytime

Anytime

He left Ba Sing Sai sooner then expected. He had quickly packed up his things and left the day after his encounter with Suki.

He found it was easier to think outside the city; away from all the noise and distractions. But that also was a bad thing, because once he got to thinking he could stop and his mind wondered onto topics he wished not to think about. Ones that slowed him down more and more.

He'd left Suki… because of Toph?

He hadn't thought about it that way, but after what she'd said… he found himself feeling extremely stupid for having been so oblivious.

Sokka had received the letter two weeks before he left Kyoshi Island, and he knew each word like the back of his hand.

_Sokka, it's been awhile. How have you been? _The words had obviously halted for sometime, because the writing was a little different next. _I wish I was sending you this for other reasons, but I'm not. Aang and I found out today from Iroh that Toph is gone. We're not sure how or why, but she just left. Sokka, we figured since you and she were good friends, closer then either of us were. You might be able to contact her? Or know where she is even? Please, we're just worried. _

_-Katara_

It hadn't meant much to him at the time, but slowly, after hearing no news of Toph returning, he assumed she had truly left. And for a short time… even thought she might have been killed. That was what made him leave.

He hadn't told Suki why, but that was the reason. And now he understood she knew, and nothing would be the same between them now. Not after he left her because of a letter, because of Toph.

He made his way toward the ocean, deciding to fallow it until he neared the spot he would have to turn inward, deep into the Earth Kingdom forests; where he would find the volcano eventually.

It seemed simple at that. The only hard part was going to be traveling.

He tried to avoid the thought of how to confront Toph. How would he apologize without stuttering? Without messing up?

How was he going to explain to her everything thing he'd done since she left? All the lives he took…

Of course he would only have to explain if she actually forgave him, which he was growing more and more doubtful about.

Iroh had said she wasn't the same as she used to be. Was she really that different now?

Sokka tried to imagine what she was like now, how she behaved. Was she still the same, rough child who always thought she was invincible? Or did she realize she was just as fragile as anyone else?

There was no way of telling unless he saw her, talked to her. And to do that he'd need to get to the village before winter, or he'd have to wait the cold out.

The thought of trying to get there within a few months only made his feet more tiresome, but he refused to stop. Whether he showed up early or late, he would show up… and then he would apologize. Apologize for everything.

"What am I doing?" he finally asked himself. "What am I going to do?"

He arrived at the ocean within three days, reaching a small, run down fishing village, where he paid to rent a small room for the night. It was tiny; consisting of only a curtained window and a bed. He laid his sleeping bag out over the filthy mattress, then flopped down upon his, falling into a deep slumber a moment later.

He awoke to a soft knock upon his door, which he reluctantly opened; yawning away the sleep. "What?" he demanded groggily, only staring down at the small boy angrily.

"My… father said to tell you your time here is up… its sunrise. If you want to pay more… you can stay another night." The boy was shivering in the early morning chill, his bare feet and thin rags of clothes barely producing any warmth.

Sokka felt nothing but sympathy for the boy, but he was angered toward the father. The man had been so cowardly; he'd sent his own son to confront him.

He smiled softly; then nodded. "I'll be gone soon."

The boy shifted uncomfortably. "I… I know who you are."

He raised a brow, staring down at the child with surprise. "Who… am I?"

"You're Sokka," the boy was growing excited at knowing such things, but fear was also in his eyes. "You helped the Avatar save us… and you belong to the Warriors. But they don't come to help us anymore." He said sadly, staring down at the floor. "I haven't seen them in awhile."

Sokka dropped down to one knee. "When was the last time you saw them?" he questioned calmly, but he was slowly becoming anxious to know.

"Three weeks ago, they came and slept the night, then left before I woke up." He sighed. "I was hoping they'd show me how to fight… but they didn't." he shrugged, turning to leave.

Sokka didn't try to comfort the upset boy, just merely shut the door. They were three weeks ahead of him.

"What are you talking about Sokka?" he demanded to himself as he rolled up his sleeping bag. "You're not going after them, you're finding Toph. That's what important.

But no matter what his mind kept wondering to his group of men… or Sashu's. Would he go after them?

The days wore on as he walked the beach, feet quickly growing tired of treading sand hours on end. He stopped only to sleep but a few hours, then arose before the sun. He'd decided he would try to find his Warriors before leaving the ocean, where he would travel to find Toph. That only would happen though, if he encountered them before he came to where he must depart from the sea.

Sokka passed two more villages, which he only stopped at to buy supplies. He'd been informed there were no more villages for days, but he'd been foolish enough not to worry. But once he'd found he no longer had water or food, he was forced to stop and find some.

He discovered a stream not far inland, which he filled his pouch with, then started back for the beach.

It didn't take long to discover an edible fruit, but it wouldn't hold him over for long. He needed to find another village soon.

Another day passed of walking and he finally gave into sleep sooner then planned.

His dreams were like all the others; the same exact scene playing through his head.

But this time everything was muted; as if he were deaf. But he realized soon enough that it was not everything that was muted, just his friends. He knew it was just a strange dream, like all others were supposed to be. But for some reason, he longed to hear one of their voices. Toph's voice, but he couldn't. He wanted to so badly; and he couldn't.

He woke, startled immediately at the sight of a shadow looming over him. A figure that looked oddly familiar.

"Hello," the figure said cheerily, silhouetted in the moon light.

Sokka threw the person backwards, jumping to his feet with his hand upon his sword.

"Wait… I'm sorry I scared you, I just-"

"Aang?"

There was along silence, in which the figure drew forward again, squinting in the dark. "Sokka?"

Sokka relaxed, letting go of his sword. "Yeah… yeah it's me." He sighed slumping back toward the ground. But Aang had already embraced him tightly, not letting go for a second.

"Hey… it's uh, nice to see you too." The separated and Aang gestured behind him. "I'm Appa would be much better to sleep on then the ground."

It was dark, but by the way he said it; Sokka knew Aang was grinning.

"Uh… sure." He grabbed at his bag, pulling it tiredly onto his shoulders.

"I'll get it," Aang grabbed the bag, pulling into it on.

They started for the figure of Appa, which was even showing white in the dark. Sokka patted the beast when he reached him, feeling the familiar softness of the creature. "I missed you," he whispered. Something leapt onto his shoulder, startling him even more. He rubbed under Momo's chin, letting the lemur rub against his neck. "All of you."

Aang still had that goofy kid look to him; never stopped smiling and was always blabbing on and on.

Though he enjoyed the company, he hoped that Toph didn't act like this. She and Aang being the same age, he assumed they would be similar. But he hoped not now.

"So… have you seen Katara lately?"

"I just came from the South Pole."

"And she's… okay?"

He paused, thinking back on how sad she looked. But then he'd remembered how she'd blushed so deeply when he mentioned Zuko. "Yeah Aang, she's doing fine. How are you doing these days?"

"I'm fine," he shrugged simply, pulling Appa off to the right, for they were steering away from land. Sokka had forgotten how amazing flying was, but at the same time; terribly frightening. "I was at Kyoshi Island recently."

Sokka glanced at the boys back, nervously scratching at his hair. "Oh yeah? How's everything there?"

"They're doing fine. Suki was gone though, in Ba Sing Sai. Did you know that?"

He sighed. "Yeah, I met her there."

Aang shifted uncomfortably. "Oh… how'd it go?"

"She pretty much told me I broke her heart," he shrugged, causing his companion to glance over his shoulder at him. "But hey, she forgave me."

"And what else?"

"That was it, we hugged and I didn't see her after that."

Aang remained silent. He obviously disapproved of Sokka leaving Suki the way did. But he didn't know why he'd left her, and Sokka hoped he wouldn't have to tell him.

"So where are you heading?" The Avatar questioned.

He cursed silently to himself. "Uh… Aunt Wui's village."

"Oh, why's that?" Aang questioned, still completely oblivious to what he was getting into.

"Toph."

Aang spun around, jerking the reins with him and sending the bison hurtling to the left, which he quickly fixed. "Toph? She's there? Why? When?"

"Aand, calm down." He waved the questions away. "Katara just told me that-"

"Katara knew? And she didn't tell me?"

Sokka sighed. "She promised Toph that-"

"But she told you, don't I deserve to know too-"

"Aang!" he snapped, causing the younger man to stop. "Listen. I'm going to find Toph, that's all that matters. Who knew and who didn't isn't a big deal."

He silently agreed with him, only nodding then waiting for Sokka to continue. So he did.

"I just need to talk to her. That's all."

"You know, I could just fly you there."  
Sokka considered it greatly for a moment, but eventually shook his head. "I think its best you didn't. I'm sure you have a lot of places to go and lot of things to do. Besides, I have a few stops before I go."

Aang nodded sadly, but understood. "Right, I'll drop you off at the nearest village."

He also considered this, but shook his head again. "Aang, listen. I' need to tell you something."

He explained his actions over the last two years and confined in him all the horrible memories he had. All the blood and fighting he pictured so often, up to the point of what the Earth King told him. The man, or boy was more of what he was still, listened quietly, not interrupting once.

When Sokka finished, his companion only nodded solemnly. "And you want to stop them now?"

"Yes, will you help me?"

Aang hesitated; then extended his hand. "Anytime Sokka." He said it softly, but meant it. "Anytime you need me."


	8. Scarred

Scared

Sokka watched nervously as Aang addressed the bartender; questioning him about the Warriors.

The two nodded to each other, engaging in what was going to be a long conversation.

Sokka ordered a drink and waited. Minutes passed by and he was about ready to drag Aang from the tavern. But he didn't need too; because his laughing friend was already making his way back over.

He sat down, obviously a little under the influence of his drink; which Sokka had seen him gulp down quickly when he'd first went to the counter.

"Alright," he hesitated, focusing on Sokka. "The nice man over there just told me…" he swayed a bit, which made Sokka also think he'd had more then one glass. "You're Fighters,"

"Warriors."

"Warriors, came through here not to many… days ago… he said they demanded free service and left after raiding the shelves," he hesitated again. "Of… what do they sell here?"

"Come on." He stood up, grabbing the Avatar's arms and pulling him to his feet. "For a monk Aang, I'm surprised you even took one sip of that stuff."

Once outside, he dragged the almost asleep boy to the bison, hauling him up. "Spirits Aang, how much of that stuff did you have?"

"Just…" he counted his fingers until he got to five. "How much is this?" Then he fell backwards into the saddle, asleep.

"Yip yip," Sokka muttered, grabbing the reins.

The moon had risen hours before and he stared up at it longingly. "It's been awhile." He whispered, smiling. "I miss you." He wished that the woman in the moon would answer him, but she didn't and he continued on, flying the direction the Warriors had gone.

Aang woke late into the day, sitting up with his hands covering his mouth. After lying over the side of Appa for what seemed like the longest

Time; he pulled back up. "What happened?" he demanded tiredly, crawling toward the front of the saddle.

"You got drunk." Sokka replied with a laugh. "Really drunk."

"But I didn't drink tahat many…!"

"Yeah you did. No use in worrying about how many you had though, it's already splattered on someone's face below." He smiled at his own joke.

Aang had a horrified look on his pale face, glancing over the bison; then sitting back down. "I can't believe I did that."

"It happens to everyone," Sokka brought the bison lower to the ground. "I can see the village…" he stopped, staring at the scene before him. "Oh no…" he whispered, pulling back up into the clouds. He cursed, extremely loud, causing Aang to look at him questioningly.

"You'll see." He growled, pulling off toward the nearest clear patch in the tree below them, away from the village.

They neared the village clearing, under cover of the trees. Sokka could smell smoke from a mile away, where he'd left Appa and Momo to wait while he and Aang crawled through the dense forest.

"What's going on?" Aang questioned, looking about at the sound of cries for help.

"Isn't it obvious?" he hissed, peering through the bushes into the houses below them. "Sashu's burning the village."

"But why?"

"No doubt they were harboring Fire Nation soldiers. Whether they were rebels or not, Sashu will have most likely…" he stopped, glancing at his friend.

"What?"

"We'll just see." He waved the question off, like he'd done so many times. "Come on."

They crept forward, toward the opening where they would be out of the cover of the canopy of trees; which would be suicide.

They could see now, the group of men that stood outside the burning village, ignoring the cries and screams. Instead, they had their attention turned to their captives.

The Fire Nation rebels knelt with their hands raised behind their heads in capture, each bearing metal chains that were barely light enough to hold up. They would never be able to bend.

Sokka spotted Sashu first. He was arguing with Hanu, who was thrusting his finger towards the captives accusingly; obviously wishing nothing more then to end their lives right then and there.

Sashu was shaking his head and rubbing his temples. Sokka had seen that move too many times before. Sashu acted as if he had a head ache, caused his arguer to hold back a second, then thought up a good enough excuse to throw out.

But this time Sashu didn't throw out an objection, he instead began to walk away, waving off Hanu's angry shouts.

Hanu turned around drawing an arrow and aiming at one of the prisoners.

"When I get down there, can you cover me if I need it?" Sokka questioned quickly, turning to Aang. "Because if you can't-"

"I've got your back," the Avatar reassured, a smile playing across his face. It was there that Sokka saw the man that had moved into this boy. That was now taking over in a serious situation as such, and would do as much as possible to see him safely down there.

"Then wait until I need it okay?"

Without thinking more about it; he threw himself out of the brush, sprinting down the hill with sword drawn.

He was nearly at the bottom of the hill, leaping over tufts of grass that grew as high as his knees and dodging rocks. Hanu had spotted him now and brought his arrow up, aiming at him; which was what Sokka wanted.

The arrow shot through the air, aiming strait at his heart he supposed, since Hanu was know for such work.

Sokka threw himself to the side, dodging the deadly weapon. He could feel the sharp edge sliding past his cheek, nearly nicking his ear. He could feel the hair that was sliced off.

He let out an angry war cry, jumped over a lump of earth and nearly tripping. He staggered down the rest of the hill.

With a huge leap, he jumped over the prisoners, who'd ducked low to the ground.

His sword came down upon Hanu, nearly slicing him through. But the younger man was a bit quicker, drawing his arrow and sliding to the left, aiming at his face.

Sokka swung his sword back around, cutting of the arrow's front end before it could fly.

Hanu glared at him, reaching back to draw out another one. He stopped though; then lowered his arm as the cold black sword pressed threateningly against his neck. He gulped, blood trickling down his sweat covered neck.

Sokka had only a little chance to glance around. He was just in time to see the sword that was falling upon him, about to end his life. He closed his eyes for the briefest second, waiting. But when nothing happened, he opened them again.

The man, his own man, whom had attempted to defeat him, was hurtled backwards, sword flying through the air, far away from his reach.

Sokka glanced over his shoulder, watching as Aang ran down the hill, taking huge airbending leaps.

He noticed not all of his men were here, most were probably in the village, bringing havoc onto the villagers who screamed so terribly.

His other men didn't attack him though; instead they went for Aang, who apparently seemed more dangerous.

"I ought to kill you, you traitor!" Sokka spat, drawing closer to Hanu. His sword pressed harder against him, drawing more blood, but Hanu only flinched.

"Then do it," the man sneered, hands quivering.

Sokka considered it. So what if he killed this man? It would mean saving peoples' lives, not to mention getting rid of him forever, so he could no longer question his leader's authority.

"No," Sokka stared at the hilt of his sword, drawing it away. "I'm not like you. I'm not a murderer." He brought his sword completely down, pushing past the trembling man.

As he made his way to where Aang was fighting at least five Warriors, he could hear the cold laughter of Hanu.

"Not a murderer?" he snarled. _Like an animal, _Sokka thought as he stood, back turned from him. _Like a monster._

"You're more of a murderer then any of us. You killed hundreds of men without hesitation. You enjoyed it just as much or maybe more then me. You're worse then any of us. You're an animal."

Sokka's fingers tightened around his sword and his longing to run the man through was growing stronger. But he kept walking.

"You're and animal Sokka!" he called, not attempting to fire an arrow. "You can't deny it!"

"No," Sokka whispered to himself. "I'm not."

He arrived at Aang's side just in time, for his friend had dropped to one knee after receiving a blow to the back of the head. He cursed, which made Sokka smile; then held his head painfully.

Sokka stood over his crouching form protectively, holdong his sword at hand as his men… or who used to be his men, surrounded them.

"What's your plan now?" Aang asked, blood covering his hands.

"I'm… figuring it out."

Sokka was about to lunge at one of his attackers, but a new voice prevented him from doing so.

"Wait,"

He looked up, staring into the, what used to be kind, eyes of Sashu.

"I expected you sooner," Sashu commented, looking over Aang once before bringing his eyes back to the former leader. Sokka could see the sad, tired look in those eyes and he immediately knew Sashu wasn't as bad as he assumed. He was confused.

"You can't stop us Sokka," he shrugged, a smirk on his lips. "You can try, but you'll fail. You trained us all, what makes you think you can defeat us?"

Sokka's eyes dropped to the ground, studying his feet.

"You're weak," Sashu spat, "You go and kill hundreds of men, then turn around and 'have a change of heart' decided you don't want to do this anymore. But it's apart of you Sokka, you can't get rid of it. You are this kind of man; this kind of monster. Just like the rest of us."

At that; the men shifted uncomfortably, Sokka noticed.

"If we have to suffer this feeling, so do you."

"I'll stop you."

"Will you now?" Sashu demanded. "Didn't you just hear me? You made us into what we are; you gave a part of yourself to all of us. You can't defeat yourself."

"Yes, I can." Sokka's heart was racing. "Or I'll die trying!" he lifted his head, running forward with his sword raised.

In a frozen second in time, he could see the change in Sashu's eyes. The look he gave him, the tiredness that changed to a cold, dead look. It seemed that for an instant; he was no longer human.

The frozen second was gone and Sokka had his sword pressed forward, about to strike his opponent. His ally. His friend. And in that instant, he remembered that this man was indeed his friend, he hesitated. The sword dropped to the ground just as Sashu's ran into him, slicing through his shoulder with a sickening sound.

Sokka's breathing halted for seconds as he fell to his knees, lifting his head to stare into Sashu's eyes. It was then those eyes changed.

Sashu stared down at him with sadness, but it dissolved to anger and Sokka knew; this man was in fact human, but a scared human who was filled with so many different emotions, that they changed without control, taking over him.

"Then die." He withdrew his sword; pushing Sokka back with his foot. He dropped to the ground, blackness clouding around his vision. The last thing he saw; was the face of Aang staring over him. Then everything was gone.


	9. Broken Warrior

Broken Warrior

The room steadily came into view, the ceiling growing clearer and clearer, then the rest of the small hut.

He attempted to rise, but the searing pain in his left shoulder was unbearable and he was forced to remain lying. He turned his head, staring at the sleeping form of Aang lying in the bed next to his own.

Everything came back to him in an instant. And he wished more then anything he'd ended Sashu's life. This thought sickened him, however great he wished to do it. He'd loved that man as a brother. He'd taught him his ways… and he turned around and betrayed him, nearly killed him.

For a moment the thought of dying was pleasant; then he remembered just why he was traveling. Of whom he _had _been traveling to.

"Spirits Toph…" he choked, tears streaming his face as he lay limp in this strange bed. "I'm sorry, I failed you… I'm so, so sorry."

Then everything grew dark again and he drifted off into nothingness.

The next time he awoke, he found he was staring into the face of a girl. One no younger then fifteen who had a sweet smile.

"He's awake!" she said quietly to someone else in the room. "Luri he's awake!"

She pressed a damp cloth to his head, then bringing a cold cup of water to his cracked lips. He tried to speak, but she hushed him. "Don't speak, you'll have you're answers soon enough." She was a smart girl.

He closed his eyes and waited.

Unknowing that he'd drifted off to sleep, he woke to find a new figure standing over him. An older woman whose hands… were glowing?

No, they had water on them… glowing water.

She was a waterbender!

That wasn't odd though, many benders had come to live in the Earth kingdom; it wasn't unusual.

He felt her delicate old hands move to his shoulder, chilling his skin, where the healing process began for, he guessed; the second time.

After awaking, he was informed by Aang of what had happened.

Many of the villagers had seen the accident. After Sashu had stabbed him, he and the men left and Aang put out the fire. Then, with help from the villagers, dragged Sokka back into the burnt village, where luckily some of the huts were still untouched by the flames. That was where he lay now.

"And they rebels?"

Aang shook his head. "They escaped."

This mattered little to Sokka. "I… thank you." Was all he could whisper, staring at Aang, then to the girl, then the old woman.

"It's my job," the woman snapped, but she had kindness in her voice. "My name is Luri, I'm the healer of this village, which your friend, Avatar Aang has saved." She looked gratefully at the avatar.

"And I'm her niece, great niece," the girl corrected herself, stepping forward. "My name is Zuli." She glanced at both Aand and Sokka; then smiled that sweet smile.

"How long have I been here?" Sokka questioned wearily.

"A week," Aang muttered, obviously also sleep deprived. "We've been here a week."

Sokka muttered a small curse, glancing at the two women in the room. "When will I be well enough to leave?"

"Leave?" the old woman laughed, which annoyed him a bit. "You won't be leaving bed for some time Master Sokka," so she knew him. "You are not well enough yet. You're shoulder was greatly damaged I'm afraid."

"How damaged?" he demanded, fearing pricking at him.

The woman glanced from Aang, then Zuli. "Well, it's hard to tell just yet," she smiled sympathetically. "I'll let you know as soon as possible. But right now you need to sleep." She gestured for her great niece to fallow her out of the room.

Zuli began to argue, but the healer glared at her and she reluctantly turned, giving one last smile to them both before disappearing out of the hut.

Two more days passed of healing sessions with Luri, who griped over his fidgeting as she healed. But he couldn't help it when her icy hands touched his skin. He wasn't used to having wounds so severe, not to mention people touching them.

At least Zuli and Aang kept him company. He couldn't help but notice the girl brought lightness to the room, including Aang.

It was on one morning though, as the three of them sat talking, she asked Aang to fetch some water outside. He did it with hesitation, disappearing from the room a moment later.

She stood, checking Sokka's bandages. After a moment of silence, she spoke. "So who is she?"

"...Who?"

She only glanced at him nervously, as if she was afraid to go on. "The girl, the one you were speaking to when you first came. Toph was what you said. Who is she?"

He let out a soft 'oh' flinching as she pressed the fresh bandages on. "She… she's my friend."

She looked up at him for a moment, a question on her lips, which she didn't ask; instead a different question. "Where is she?"

"In a village at the base of a volcano; it's a few weeks from here."

"Were you going to see her?"

He nodded as she drew back into her chair at the end of his bed. "If you don't mind me asking… when you were talking… you were apologizing. You said you were sorry. What for?"

He was uncomfortable talking about it. "I was ill… I was talking nonsense. It doesn't matter."

She didn't pursue, but merely stood as Aang entered the room, holding the pale of fresh water.

"Luri will need me." She said, touching Aang briefly on the arm before leaving.

When she left, Aand sighed, sitting down.

"You like her."

"What?" he looked down at Sokka, surprised. "I… no I… what do you mean?"

Sokka only laughed, turning on his side and closing his eyes. "Nothing Aang, nothing at all."

The days wore on and Sokka was growing more and more impatient. He longed to leave the room. To see the outside world again, but Luri restricted it. She kept going on and on of how he would only bring further damage to himself by getting out of bed.

But Sokka knew that if he stayed in bed any longer, he would end up being attached to it by the time he was well enough to leave.

He also found the Aang and Zuli no longer visited him as much. And when they did, the just talked on and on of what they'd done that day. How Zuli had taught Aang about herbs and how he had showed her a few battle moves.

It was odd seeing Aang so interested in a girl who wasn't Katara, but Sokka just faced the fact that it would never be the same between the two. They would only be friends, no more. Which was perfectly fine with him; it just meant he no longer had to hold off the talk he was planning to have between Aang and himself about Katara.

Finally though, the day ended up coming that he was able to leave the bed. He stumbled out the door, Zuli under one arm and Aang the other.

The sun blasted him in the face, causing him to stumble a moment and nearly fall. But his two friends supported him.

He eventually was able to walk with only Aang; then tried to do it by himself; which didn't get him far.

The next day he got farther by himself, and the next even farther. But it still was unsteady and he knew he wouldn't be going to find Toph anytime soon.

It pained him to be but only a week or two away and unable to go to her. To tell her how sorry he was, to confine in her everything he needed to. He'd gone over that as well, in his time in bed. What he would say and how he'd say it. From the point of first saying hello, to possibly having to argue with her then explaining everything he'd done. All the evil he'd done.

He, one evening, found himself with tears in his eyes. For Luri sat at the end of his bed explaining to him the damage his arm had taken.

"You will no longer be able to fight with that arm Sokka," she said solemnly, head bent.

Aang and Zuli had left minute before to go star gazing, he thought he'd heard, and he was relieved it was only the old woman who saw him shed tears. It was an unnecessary thing to do… but fighting was his life. The sword was about of him. How could he give it up?

"There's… nothing you can do? Nothing at all? No healing trick or… or…"

"I'm sorry." She turned to the door.

"Wait," he stopped her.

She glanced over her shoulder him, her old eyes also filled with tears.

"Thank you," He felt cruel to have complained about his arm. It could have been much worse without her. He could have died. "For everything."

She left after that, wiping the tears off her face.

He turned onto his side, staring out the open window at the star speckled sky above. He sighed.


	10. Departing

Departing

He watched as Aang cautiously circled him, hands raised for bending.

"Are you sure you want to do this?" he questioned, stopping. "Because Luri said that-"

"The same thing any other healer would say. No disrespect to her; but my fighting days aren't over yet. Now come on." Sokka held the sword with his right hand, his other arm limp at his side in a sling.

"Alright," Aang launched forward, coming upon Sokka in an instant.

Sokka brought his sword up, but Aang quickly dodged the attack, sliding behind him and tripping him.

The swordsman pushed to his knees, anger coloring his face. "You didn't have to do that."

"You wanted me to!" Aang protested, extending a hand.

Sokka swung his sword back around, using the flat side to his friend on the shoulder. He stumbled to the side, clutching at his bruised arm. "Hey!"

"You don't help your enemies up do you?" Sokka smirked, throwing his weapon forward again. This time Aang dodged it, airbending himself upwards.

Sokka glared up at him as he hovered momentarily. "How am I-?"

"You'll have to learn how to fight a bender." Aang slipped back to the ground, landing a few feet away.

The two stood silent for a moment, each waiting for the other to move. Finally Aang took his turn, sending a blast of air forward without easing up.

Sokka thrust his sword into the ground, holding onto his tightly as the wind tore at him. When it had passed he brought his blade back up, running forward with it skimming the ground.

He slashed out; missed. Attempted again and received the same result.

"Come on Sokka!" Aang yelled, ducking to dodge a blow. "I'm not even trying!"

It was surprising that he was talking like this, but Sokka was glad of it. He needed the insults to get himself in shape.

"I've seen better from the swamp benders!"

Sokka didn't begin to explain how little sense that made, instead he brought his sword down hard, smacking Aang in the leg with the flat part again.

This time the avatar dropped to one knee, griping over his second bruise. When he looked up again, Sokka had his sword to his neck.

"Satisfied?"

Aang nodded with a smile, pulling to his feet. "Just don't let Luri know, she'll kill you."

Sokka wasn't paying much attention; instead he was glancing over Aang's shoulder. "I don't think I'm the problem. Just make sure your girlfriend there doesn't tell." He nodded, causing Aang to spin around, blushing.

Zuli stood at the end of the clearing, holding a basket of clothing. "I was just… going to the river to wash some clothes." She turned to leave face also bright red.

"Need some help?" the avatar offered. The girl smiled and nodded; so the two were off toward the river.

Sokka started back through the trees toward the village, sheathing his sword. He could still fight; just not as well as before.

Once back at the village, he quickly made his way back to his hut, unlatching his belt, ready to put the weapon safely next to his bed, as if it'd never left.

He pushed the door open; dropping the sword to the ground. "Luri! You… startled me." He picked the item back up. He knew he looked like a child caught in the act of stealing; with his head bent low and cowering under he old gray eyes.

"I see you went training." She said with an observing tone, though there was anger and something else. What else? "I told you not to do that."

He remained silent a moment, lifting his head. "But Luri-"

"How did you do?"

He stared at her questioningly, but smiled a bit. "I beat Aang. Actually, I don't think I could ever beat Aang, but I got him to his knees."

She nodded and to his surprise it was an approving nod. "Then I misjudged your will to fight Master Sokka. You still can and I believe you always will, even when you're old and wrinkled like me." She laughed at that, rising from her chair across the room. "Zuli has spoken to me about this girl you spoke of. Toph. I only assume she is _the _Toph, who disappeared years ago. I think its time you visit her."

His eyes widened at the realization. The pure joy of leaving the village, but at the same time; he was sad to depart from these people, whom nursed him back to health. Who were growing closer and closer to being almost like family.

He would miss them.

He stayed for week, then another; deciding it was better to become skilled at using one arm while keeping the other safely bound at his side. He also needed to learn how hunt with but one hand.

He was becoming fonder and fonder of this village, which told him, one evening; it was time to leave.

He brought Aang away from he village and away fro Zuli, whom he'd spent the past two weeks with. Not one second went by without the two being together. And whether they realized it or not, it was going to be extremely hard for Aang to leave. That was why he was going to break the news to him early.

They'd neared the river, where some of the women were returning from their day's worth of washing clothes. Once they'd passed Sokka turned to face Aang. "Its time we leave Aang."

The Avatar's eyes were full of sorrow. He nodded. "When?"

"Tomorrow."

He looked extremely upset about this as he turned to leave. But it was better to leave now then later; when he and Zuli would be even fonder of each other.

Sokka sighed, lifting his gaze to the dusk sky above. "Spirits forgive me for taking him away from this. From his happiness." Then he turned and took the same path his friend had moments before.

"Sokka," Luri stepped out of the crowd of people, holding a leaf bound bundle.

Sokka slid off of Appa; having just tossed his bag in. "Yes?"

"These herbs with help your arm if it were to start hurting. Just don't take too much at a time," the elderly woman smiled. "We've also prepared a couple meals for you." She signaled to the crowd, in which a small child came from, holding a large bag of food that was too heavy for him to bear.

Sokka picked it up easily, running his hand over the boys head affectionately as he ran off to hide in his mother's skirts.

"Your village has been too kind to me," he began, but found his voice cracking. "Thank you."

The healer only nodded, smiling at him like she'd never done before. She no longer was that snappy old woman who bossed you around. He realized how much a person could really be beneath everything. Was there someone else inside him? Someone that wasn't a monster?

"Its time Aang," he called, turning away before he had second thoughts of leaving.

The avatar had been standing off to the side, speaking quietly and hurriedly with Zuli. He had been holding her hand, but as he started forward, he let go.

"Sokka," he approached cautiously. "You said you needed to take this journey alone. I didn't understand at first, but now I do. And I think I've found my place for the moment."

Sokka stared down at his friend blankly for a moment, then smiled softly and sighed. "I think you're right." He managed to climb back onto Appa taking his pack back out and sliding back to the ground. "I think you have found your place." He embraced the Avatar tightly, feeling that sorrow clutching at his heart again. "I'd better be out of here," he pulled away.

"Yeah, before you cry." Aang smiled that same goofy smile; then retreated back to his place next to Zuli.

Sokka began his long trek towards the woods; waving goodbye with his only useful arm. He didn't know if he'd ever return, or if he did; when. But that didn't matter at the moment. What mattered was that he was on his way to Toph. That was, of course, after he confronted the one man he should have weeks before. The man that took away something Sokka had cherished.


	11. Fault

Fault

He didn't know how he'd find the Warriors, but he knew he couldn't stop until he did. If it meant passing the way to Toph, he would do it; then go back later. He didn't care what he had to do. But he needed Sashu to know he couldn't do everything he wanted. Couldn't have everything he desired. He needed the man to know he was human, not the avatar, not a great spirit. He was a human being who could get hurt, bleed and even die.

Sokka didn't want to kill him. If it came down to it though, and it would be for the greater good of everyone; he would choose to do just that.

It had only been hours after he'd left the village that he stopped for a break. He told himself he wouldn't wear himself out.

He would take necessary stops and would eat as much food as he needed. His strength was important to keep up.

He finally rose after awhile of listening to the peaceful forest. Pulling his sack hired up onto his back, while clinging to the bundle of food, he kept on.

The day wore on quickly as he cut through the thickening undergrowth. If it kept up, he'd have to find another way through.

Plants had always seemed to be his enemy ever since he'd gone to the swamp. The memory made him smile and for a slight second he even laughed.

"Those were the days," he sighed; bringing his sword down to his side for a moment to rest it.

Two days went by of the slow trek across the forest floor in which the brambles and thorns had now cleared away enough for him to walk through.

Sokka found it was difficult to be alone now. He'd grown so used to being with Aang that he wished more then anything someone; anyone was there to travel with him, to keep him company.

But there was no one like that around here. There was no one for miles. Or so he thought.

He was growing wearier into the day when he heard it. The snap of a twig, the rushing of feet over leaves. He was able to life his head in time to see the girl. The fear in her eyes as she barreled into them, sending them both falling to the ground.

"What-?" he threw her off him, pushing back to his feet with his sword in hand. "Who are you?" he demanded as she jumped back up, a look of panic on her face.

"Please," she only glanced at the weapon. "They won't leave me alone… they burned my village… please…" she had tears in her eyes.

By the looks of it, the girl had been on the run for some time; leaves and twigs filled her long brown hair, her face was smeared with dirt and her clothes were torn and battered. "Please."

"Who?"

"The… the men with the swords and the arrows… they were looking for Fire nation soldiers. They camped in our village for days; then they discovered… they found him." She paused, tears filling her eyes. "We were harboring one man… and they burnt our village down." She was down upon her knees now, covering her face with her dirty hands. "They're coming."

He glanced the way she came, already able to hear the crunching of leaves as the men approached; the Warriors.

"Get behind me," he ordered her, raising his sword carefully and taking his stance.

After she'd scrambled behind him, they came.

Swords ready they entered the clearing. Luckily there were only two, but Sokka knew who they were. Their names, surprisingly, slipped his mind, but he knew them more then anything. They used to be his friends; his men.

One slid off to the left, smiling one of those vicious smiles that Sashu had smiled before. The one Sokka was chilled by. Now these men did it too?

"So he lives," the one with the smile sneered, cocking his head.

"Sashu won't be happy about this," the other one muttered. He was nervous, his sword shaking in his large hands. "Let's just kill him. We don't have to tell Sashu anything."

Sokka laughed and them; which gave him some pleasure. "And what will you do with my body? My sword?" he questioned. "You throw my body away and take the girl with you, no doubt she'd go on and on about me. If you keep my sword he'll know you found me, killed me. Then he'll be only angry with you for not letting him do the pleasure himself. You don't want to get on his bad side."

"Oh we know." The one on the left nodded, stepping forward. "But if we kill both you and the girl; it won't matter."

Sokka had hoped it wouldn't come to that. The girl shrank back behind him, a soft squeal escaping her lips.

"You won't hurt her," he stated confidently. "I won't let you."

"So brave, but in case you hadn't notice, oh great Master Sokka, you're crippled. And we're two men you trained, ones that are just as good as you now." In an instant the man had lunged forward, thrusting his weapon out. Sokka blocked the blow with his sword, but he was thrown backwards, stumbling into the girl.

Under his way she screamed, so he quickly jumped back up. Just in time to block of another attack, then another. The girl started to run to the right, but one of the men prevented it.

"Stay behind me!" Sokka yelled at her.

"But we'll die!" She was panicking even more, which was the worst thing to do at the moment.

Before he could stop her, she ran forward to the left, attempting to get past the man.

He caught her with an arm, attempting to hold her back. She took a step back, then turned and tried again.

There was a flash of metal; the girl crumpled to the ground.

"No!" Sokka cried, running forward and bringing his sword down upon the man. The enemy didn't have time to raise his sword in defense, resulting in the sleek black weapon running through his shoulder.

Sokka drew his bloodied sword out, tears of anger streaming down his face. He cursed at the man. "You made me do it!" he yelled, staring into his fearful eyes as they slowly dimmed. He fell backwards, slamming hard into the ground. Dead.

He now turned to the other man, who had his sword hanging limp at his side, staring down at his fallen partner. Fear filled his eyes as he looked up into Sokka's.

"Give me your sword." Sokka ordered stepping forward. "And don't make me kill you."

The man's sword dropped to the ground.

"Now turn and leave. Go as far away from here as possible. If you as even so think about returning to the Warriors; I swear I will hunt you down and kill you. Now go!"

Without hesitation the man turned and ran the opposite direction of where he'd come.

Sokka turned to the body of the girl, kneeling down beside her and closing her lifeless eyes. He was sure that without the blood and dirt that covered her, she truly was a pretty girl. But it didn't matter to anyone anymore, because she was dead.

The worst part… was that it was his fault. Not only had he not protected her… but he'd made the monster that killed her. He made all the monsters that burnt their village to the ground. It was his fault…


	12. Pray

(OK, so this isn't the last chap, but chapter thirteen is, SO DON"T GET MAD AT ME, BECAUSE I WARNED YOU! ) (Enjoy!)

Pray

The one thing he was after, the one person he was going for; was set aside. The feelings he felt for Toph were strong, but his anger was stronger; like always.

His conscious was no longer set on redemption of his wrongdoings spiritually. He had to act quickly and fix everything he screwed up. He had to destroy the one thing that kept him going for two years of his life. He had to destroy his family; his Warriors.

It all came so quickly. He reached the village the girl spoke of. He found where his men had camped for weeks and also found the remains of burnt houses. He found still weeping mothers and wives; mourning over the loss of husbands and sons who no doubt tried to defend that one Fire Nation rebel… and lost their lives by doing so.

He found children roaming about the burnt area, searching for their families who had no doubt gone to hide in the woods or fled even further away.

He felt his anger grow threateningly large, so forth resulting in him tearing away his arm sling. He wouldn't use the arm, but it would look less weak if he kept it free from safe bounds.

Sokka knew not what he would do; how long he'd last. But he knew he had to try, even if it meant taking out but a few men and never seeing Toph. He had to take the chance. Had to pray to the Spirits to send him the strength of a badgermole and the wisdom of the Great Owl. He needed the compassion of the Moon spirit and her forgiveness as well.

He also needed to be able to set Toph away from his mind, so he would not become distracted. But that was hard to do, knowing he might not be able to apologize to her. Knowing he might just be leaving her to fall deeper into her sorrow and anger toward him.

And that scared him the most. If he didn't save her from her own feelings, she would loose herself; like he had. But this time she wouldn't have the second chance like he now did. He knew she wouldn't.

He carried on through the woods away from the chaotic village. His men's tracks were still fresh. He figured they weren't even a day ahead of him.

He now prayed to the Spirits to give him speed or bring something upon his men to slow them down.

He didn't know which was granted, but his wishes came true; because he soon came upon them in a small clearing; unprepared.

Sokka crouched in the bushes, sword at hand, silently praying for success.

He could hear Sashu yelling out orders to his men who were setting up the camp.

He had the advantage of catching them off guard, but even so; he wouldn't last terribly long with a crippled arm.

"Okay Yue, I know it's not night… but I could really use your help right now." He looked to the sky, up through the leaves. Hoping that through the sun's bright rays of light, the Moon spirit was watching over him.

He slowly rose, planning out what he was going to do. He knew if he thought anymore on it though, he'd change his mind about the whole thing. So, taking in a deep breathe, he boldly pushed out of the brush and into the camp.

It remained as busy and bustling as it had moments before, but finally, after a cruel long moment of standing, a Warrior noticed him.

Within seconds he was surrounded, so many familiar faces drawing weapons on him. They were all surprised though, to see him alive.

"I want Sashu," was all he said. "Put your weapons down you idiots." He spoke loudly for all the camp to hear. "You won't kill your leader."

"You aren't our leader anymore!" one sneered, he knew immediately by the tone of voice; that it was Hanu. Who, without a doubt, would kill him right on the spot if it weren't for the man who was now approaching.

"So the great Warrior lives." Sashu strode into the circle of men, towards Sokka. "I wasn't sure if I'd killed you or not. That was why I waited so long in the pathetic little village. When you never came I figured I truly had done the deed of end your miserable life."

Sokka didn't once flinch.

"But I suppose we're all wrong sometimes." Sashu shrugged as if it was nothing. "But I'll just have to kill you again I guess."

"I'll give you one more chance," Sokka spoke calmly, though inside he was a mess, about to collapse under the frightening tremors that ran through his body. "Stop what you're doing."

Sashu stood for a moment. Then laughed; which gave the men a reason to also.

So Sokka was surrounded my laughing men who mocked him with wicked sneers.

Sashu silenced them immediately, signaling for them to retreat. "You heard your _leader_; put you weapons down."

They didn't seem happy about doing as Sokka had commanded.

"Now!"

This time they did so, obeying their new master.

Sashu unsheathed his sword. "I took you out before; this time will be just as easy."

Sokka held his own sword up as well, ignoring the gazes that fell on his left hand, which hung limp at his side.

"It seems I've taken away your chance of winning." His opponent nodded to the arm.

"We'll see. First one to his knees loses."

Sashu laughed. "Oh? How about this; first one to die looses!" he ran forward, slashing out.

He slipped to the side, almost tripping his foe, who reeled back around; jabbing at his leg.

Sokka parried the attack.

The two swordsmen went at it; metal clanging against metal, never ceasing but a few seconds. Sparks flew into their faces momentarily creating a distraction on both sides.

The pulled apart, blinking several times.

The reunited again.

Sokka was slowly falling back. He raised his left hand to help his right, but reminded himself he couldn't do so, or it would severely damage him for good. He knew he would loose.

He was thrown backwards, slamming against the nearest trunk of a tree. He moaned, sliding to a seated position.

"Is that all you've got?" Sashu spat, pacing back and forth, waiting for him to rise. "You're pathetic!" he said angrily when he didn't.

Sokka rose to his feet and slipped to the side just in time to get away from his enemy's sword, which slid into the tree where he'd been sitting moments before.

Sashu jerked his weapon free swinging it around to strike again. But Sokka had pulled away far enough to elude it.

"Sashu, I'm warning you; stop now." He knew he still didn't stand a chance, but talking was all he could do.

"Why should I? You can't defeat me," he raised his sword, bringing it down hard upon his opponent's.

There was a sliding of metal, his hand was twisted and Sokka's weapon flew to the ground feet away.

Sashu pushed him to the ground, sword drawn back to strike.

There was a moment of shocked silence. So the master had been outwitted by his student; just as they all predicted.

"You'll die knowing you wasted your time looking for so called redemption. You should have stayed away Sokka."

He thought for a moment Sashu would pull away, would retreat and let him go. But that thought disappeared quickly because he knew this was no longer his friend. He would die now.

But that did not trouble him. What troubled him; was that now… Toph would never know. He couldn't let that happen.

He could feel the metal slide past the side of his neck as he slipped away to the left. It drew blood slightly from his ear, but he didn't care.

As he pulled up beside the weapon and its bearer, he grasped the hilt; jerking it free and turning it around.

Another shocked silence fallowed. Sokka didn't know what happened. He wasn't aware of exactly what was going on until Sashu's hand fell upon his shoulder.

He stared down into those cold, fear-filled eyes.

"I'm sorry," Sokka whispered, drawing Sashu's own sword out of his own chest and letting it fall to the ground.

One of the two was on his knees; holding the other in his arms. The one kneeling was Sokka and Sashu lay, bloodied and dying in his lap.

Silent words were being spoken between the two. Apologizes and regrets that only they could hear.

The dying man's hand gripped at his shirt, but it lost its strength eventually; dropping to the side.

Sokka laid Sashu on the ground, closing his eyes then rising to his feet; ignoring the tears and blood that covered his face.

"You're leader is dead." He declared, watching as the men all shrank away.

"Then… you're our new leader." Surprisingly, it was Hanu who stepped forward. Of all the men, he was the one that spoke for Sokka's favor. But somehow, he knew, Hanu wasn't doing him a favor.

"No," Sokka shook his head angrily, knowing this man was doomed to the same fate as Sashu. "There are no Warriors now. They are gone. You will leave. You will all return to your homes and pray the Spirits grant you peace. Because you were misled, they just might, but don't expect much." He turned to leave, but then stopped. "You will bury his body where he lies. You will throw away your weapons and burn your tents. There will be no trace of us left. You understand? None."

He then left his warriors; for the final time.


	13. Behind Blue Eyes

(So, last chap. Thanks to all you who fallowed this story! And to those who reviewed, I greatly appreciated it! So, for the final time; ENJOY!) (More reviews are also greatly accepted)

Behind Blue Eyes

His ear bled, his body ached, his feet hurt and his throat was dry. His sword dragged at his side, his arm hanging limp as well. His lips were chapped, his eyes half closed. His heart ached sorrowfully and his tears were still flowing.

Yet the beauty of dawn was still breathtaking and he felt blessed to see it again, unlike Sashu.

He'd walked through the night, still able to see the smoke in the moonlit sky behind him, where the Warrior's burned their tents and split up for good to travel back to their homes.

He was surprised they'd obeyed him, but he wasn't at all worried it was a trick. He knew it wasn't… somehow he just knew. Their spirits were broken; he'd taken care of that.

He hiked all through the day, bearing the burden of his pack, Sashu's death and Toph's sorrow, but he knew they would soon be lifted. He was almost there.

"I'm coming," he whispered, finally able to close his eyes completely on the second day of traveling, recognizing the path he walked.

His feet met stone and he could feel the breeze that swam over him as he left the woods. He could hear the voices that were carried on the wind, in which came from this small village.

He opened his eyes, smiling softly. Aunt Wui's house was still in the same spot. The pavilion was still in center of the town and the people still looked as happy and cheerful as before.

But there was a new being standing among the crowd of people, who still didn't notice the newcomer and were going about their business.

Her hair reached down just below her shoulders, shining a silky black in the sunlight. Her form was no longer small and helpless, but beautiful and delicate. She was bending down, picking up two large buckets of water. This proved she was still the strong, tough girl he always knew.

Her feet were bare on the stone; but with various bracelets around her ankles and wrists. He noticed though, higher on her arm, near her shoulder, the same carved, rock bracelet he gave her. The one he'd forgotten completely about and made gim smile now because she kept it all this time; even after he broke her heart.

He took one step closer and she stopped, back turned to him. The buckets clattered to the ground, water spilling around her dirty feet.

She slowly turned, her blind eyes falling on him and sending icy chills down his spine.

He took another step and so did she. She was whispering to herself, no doubt questioning if it truly was him.

His heart was pounding, sweat forming in beads on his head.

In and instant she was running, swiftly dodging a person here or there.

As she neared him his pack dropped to the ground, fallowed by the clattering of his sword.

She threw her arms around him, holding him close. "Spirits, I missed you Sokka." She whispered.

There was a long moment of silence, in which he was shocked she could even stand to come near him, even more so to _hug _him.

"I'm sorry Toph," he whispered back, forgetting everything he had to say, all the explanations.

"I know." She replied, still not pulling away. He eventually was the one who had to ruin the moment, but by doing so; he started a new one.

He took her small and delicate face between his hands and kissed her; this was something he found he wouldn't have done before. But now it was on a sudden impulse, a sudden spark that took his breath away for the slightest moment as he held her there.

She broke away this time, embracing him again. "Don't leave me again, you understand?" she tried to say in a firm voice, but there was a quiver in her voice and she was crying more. "Please… don't leave me."

He stared down into her sightless eyes, where he found he was captivated; she had beautiful pale eyes. He hoped his no longer were the eyes of a monster; even if she couldn't see them. He hoped that behind those blue eyes, there were different ones; ones that were more then hate and anger. Ones that showed he'd changed.

"I won't," he whispered, smelling in the sweet scent of her hair as he held her head close to his chest. "Never again."

(So, if you enjoyed this story, then please review! I spent a little while on it and I just hope it paid off. Thanks! –Two Limes)

(P.S I just thought it would be cool to have him from the bad guy's point of view in the beginning. And even though he was sorry for everything he did, I thought maybe it showed a different side of people like him who just lost there way. Yeah I know, cheesy. But anyways, I hope you enjoyed it.) (-Two Limes)


End file.
